she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
