So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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