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Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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