dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
