mondays should just be called national damage control day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize