dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
