Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
