I molested 6 butterflies tonight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
