Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
