Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
