we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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