so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
