Who wears a wallet chain?!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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