1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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