I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
