Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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