she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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