i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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