Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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