with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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