she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
