This is not my ceiling
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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