pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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