Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
you had me at cake vodka
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
