I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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