um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
