Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
