Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
