I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
