you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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