The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
