My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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