Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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