the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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