i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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