Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
two words...techno handjob
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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