I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
