Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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