Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I party with great urgency now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
