they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize