When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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