..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
