i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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