The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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