Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize