lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
A bitchslap is in order.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize