cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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