I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
