i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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