cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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