he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
