how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
