Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
