WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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