I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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