I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
