she looked like the bat from fern gully.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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