I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
