I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
