yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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