Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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