It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
After last night, I could never be a politician.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize