We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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