her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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